ADHD, Automatic Thoughts, Daily Prompt, Depression, Nature, Nourishing the soul, Suicide Prevention, Uncategorized, Weight Watchers

Alone & Vulnerable. You'll never guess what I found.

Today I needed to send out a powerful message that I’ve been harnessing in my soul when I made a discovery earlier this week that if I was weak or didn’t have skills in place I would have been an easy target.  I decided to clean the pantry and I found about .5 of a tall bottle vodka that was from Costco.  It was Kirkland signature and half gone.




I actually wanted to prove to myself that I could pour everything down the train, so I pulled out my phone and started recording the profound moment.  I now have a video that I can go back to my weakest moments and recount the reasons that I announced why I was doing this.  I posted this on Weight Watchers because I made it for the Connect tribe and it was a force of positive force that came with it.

Well – It was the easiest decision I made.


Every day that I do not drink is every day that I am stronger.  I’m stronger now than I was 12 hours ago when I made the video. NSV = Non Scale Victory.. For WW followers, we’re big on NSV’s! They’re HUGE for us.


I don’t want to die young.  I don’t want to be depressed.  I don’t want to be manic. I don’t want this life but I have no choice.

Suicide is not an answer.

I am thrilled to announce that I will be featuring two guest bloggers on my site between now and the end of February.  I’ve chosen these individuals because of the path of freedom they have pursued and how their faith keeps them tied to the ground.

Oh yeah. Here is my progress I’m making with my weight management.



ADHD, Automatic Thoughts, Depression, Nourishing the soul, Technology, Weight Watchers

A second chance.

For my entire life I have searched for an audience to hear my life.  I’ve written so many drafts only to discard them later because I felt like my point wasn’t getting across.  ..  Is this true?  No.  Is this just another automatic thought?  Yes.  It’s the thought of failure and not being able to find the strength to ask yourself if you thought you deserved a second chance.   Do we get a second chance at discovering ourselves? Absolutely.

I have another forum over with Weight Watchers in their online platform called ‘Connect.’  Connect is an online network where any weight watcher subscriber whether you follow the plan online, or you go to meetings, or do both can post openly or private in an online forum, similar to Twitter and Instagram where users can share inspirational messages, offer support and encouragement and quite frankly change the world when it comes to loving ourselves and rewarding ourselves when life gets difficult.. Or when we have a bad day.  You have a support network who has been there.  In your shoes.  How do you best accomplish a task?  You do it together.

Last Tuesday: I had a REALLY bad day and I was really struggling with my emotions as I was still in the midst of a major depressive episode.  I created a video in which I was just talking openly as if I was having a conversation with my friend at a coffee table.  It had been a normal message from me which I film in the mornings because I feel when I am most content with myself at 10AM.  Weird?

I shared with the world also that I was also 6 months SOBER and the world absolutely lost it.  In my entire 32 years on planet earth have I ever felt so much love, and respect from my friends, my peers, online bloggers, and the ENTIRE Connect family.. My post went Viral

Wednesday morning I wake up and my post on Connect is trending and picked up a ton of traction.  I definitely felt really good when I woke up to know that people were celebrating my success of sobriety.  Being sober is REALLY hard.  I’m making it work but it’s anything but easy.  Weight Watchers wants to publish my video that I recorded onto a ‘Connecting with Oprah’ spot on their social media feed.

Thursday AM – Waiting… Waiting.. Waiting….Waiting…


Thursday PM – I am notified that my video will appear alongside a message to Weight Watcher subscribers on Connect and they thanked me for being so active in the community with my videos and messages of support.


Fast forward to today:

Haven’t slept much.  Still shocked that my message was received, and the amount of respect and love that you show me is so amazing.  I am grateful beyond words can describe for your love, and truth that you have shared with me.

The journey doesn’t end here.  The conversation doesn’t end.  It’s just beginning to unravel.  It’s time to eliminate the stigma and free ourselves from self hatred and LIVE OUR FUCKING LIVES.  Once and for all.