This weekend was turbulent. It was unexpected. My partner and I have been fighting a lot more lately because we have some issues that we need to work on and unfortunately as humans, we can say really unfortunate things and often times many things said during arguments should be resolved within the same day preferably. When you live together and you have an argument I recommend that you leave the situation and go for some air.
When we argue with others we contradict ourselves in our minds against the words that come out of our mouths and often times words will come out without merit and without a filter.. (Those who know me best can attest to this.). I do have a wild mouth at times. Thanks Dad for the sarcasm talent.
Today was about patching holes and conversating further about what we want to accomplish together as a couple within the next 3-6 months. It is very important that we have these sometimes curt discussions about outstanding issues. If we don’t talk about the issues we are struggling with then we will internalize it for weeks and if you do not find a way to release the pressure you will collapse and when that happens it’s not good.
Every day that I continue to blog I become stronger in managing my emotions and realizing and recognizing the thought of the argument wanting to make me sad but instead I converted the negative energy associated with that thought and turned it into an opportunity for us to communicate more openly and have conversations that we should be afraid of. I have changed so much since October 2017 when I launched my blog and I am forever grateful for the shift in perception that I received.
To be honest I was soulless at the end of October. I didn’t know who I was anymore and my self-worth was crud. When the suicidal feelings started to pour into my brain I immediately told my therapist. I immediately sought out help and my therapist was able to get me onto a path of continued progress and this is the project.
His suggestion was to write down your thoughts.
October 2017 – Stigma Unraveled was born and my life is forever different.
And I love it now. My goal is to have YouTube up and running by Feb 1st. Lofty goal but unmistakably possible.
I am free.