Depression is rotten. It is a rotten disorder that often haunts me with food indulgences and lack of responsibility in portion control and accurately tracking my points on Weight Watchers. I wonder why I do things the way I do sometimes however for binge eating I am rather curious how my thoughts form that give myself permission to indulge in XYZ?
I work out a ton. I am proud of that. What kills me though is when I do binge I feel like I am ruining my efforts at the gym. I feel like I’m purposely sabotaging myself by consuming candy at the movie theatre or eating a pint of Halo Top on my bed while watching Black Mirror on Netflix. What is it that causes me to do this?
For me I believe it comes down to two things:
Am I eating any aspartame?
Where is my Weight Watchers app? Have I checked into Connect today?
Since giving up Diet Coke four weeks ago I have witnessed sensational changes in my appearance and my outlook is better. I definitely look less bloated in tight muscle shirts and I like that. 🙂 A lot. My muscles are definitely growing during sleep. I’m just learning to be patient and learning everything in time. I often remind myself it’s not a race, or a marathon Mark so slow down! I hope I have many many years left on Earth and I want to enjoy my bipolar life. I want to continue to spread awareness on mental health to everyone I encounter.
“Hi! Is everything ok?”