When I think about all the changes that I’ve made since October 24th, I’m nothing but absolutely stunned at my success. What do I mean?
Oh gosh, well! I’m down 35.7 lbs for starters and tonight’s post is about how I had some weakness earlier this morning coming off of the weekend fun I had, and I felt a panic this morning, and I felt the need to share it with you because it’s impactful to me.
I’m very hard on myself. It’s often the bi-polar part of me that shines through when you the excessiveness that gets applied to my life and my goals… Like my fitness moments.. speaking off..28,000 steps again.. I did the same thing on Saturday with a friend from out of town. It was great. I love hosting out of town guests and showing them the fun of Seattle. It was a total hurricane here on Saturday, I’ve never seen or felt so much water in my life. Despite the rain, my friend and I clocked in 28,000 steps and made a profound statement of self-worth. AH! YES! I CAN!
The problem with depression is that despite having the most significant gains, I still find myself falling short and indulging myself more than I can “afford.” This weekend was a complete trainwreck with my eating patterns because we ate out so much. However, we made the commitment to track every bite. Being a recovering alcoholic, I don’t drink anymore! So I don’t have to worry about drinking my points away or do I?
Not drinking, but binging entirely. I find that when I am with others that do not necessarily follow the same lifestyle as I do, I can liken to their style very quickly and if I’m not careful I can totally wreck out and end up in depression and self-misery. It was beneficial that my friend follows the lifestyle too, so we were accountability buddies, but still, we indeed didn’t behave ourselves in our food aspirations.
Oh well! It tasted good. I worked my butt off at the gym today and came very close to throwing up after my cardio session. It was amazing!
For now, the depression is gone. Tomorrow is another day, and more of those thoughts will flood my mind. Just because they’re there doesn’t mean that there correct. My brain is on constant awareness for depression and I’ve instructed my recruits it’s survival mode from here on out. Do not be intimidated.