ADHD, Automatic Thoughts, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Daily Prompt, Depression, Nourishing the soul, Suicide Prevention, Technology, Weight Watchers

An unexpected break from blogging

I really missed blogging but due to being hacked by Russian operatives (I’m not kidding either) I’m forced to try and figure out how to theme my page back to the original. Oh well, I’m not too distraught over it now that my account is secure again. I was pretty upset initially but it was shut down so nothing could go in/out. I was OK with this while WordPress figured out their shit. Plus I changed my number because I felt like I needed to let go some more and that just further complicated things because WordPress was like Who are you asshole?

Here I am. 33 years old. WOW – what else can I say?

Over the last thirty days, I have experienced the best of my days. As many of you are aware I ended my five-year relationship with my partner in early February 2018. My ex-owned the house and I was never on the actual title. Which turned out to be really good.. Everything worked out. I moved out of the house within two weeks of the official agreement to split and moved into the fastest thing I could find in the shortest amount of time possible. OMG, what was I thinking? I needed to move out. Despite sleeping in the other room, things were over and it was time for me to go. The hardest part was saying goodbye to that life because of the sweet pup that I had to leave behind as my new place couldn’t accept pets, and I refuse to believe a husky could ever live a happy life in an apartment. Just couldn’t.

So what happened? The dog is with the ex and I’m fine with that because we have an arrangement in place where I can visit the dog when I choose and I will take care of Denali while he is traveling for work or wants to get away for the weekend. This is a great plan because it allows me to maintain a friendship with my ex and that means a lot to me. I spent five years with him. I can’t accept it all slip away for anything. Relationships are tough fucking work. I really know this. I’ve learned so much about who I am over the last five years and for once I put myself first and said CUT THE SHIT OUT.

I now live back on Capitol Hill in Seattle which has always been referred to as the queer capital of Seattle. Well then, I’m right at home and you know what? That’s amazing because I never wanted to move away in the first place. I love it here. When my ex and I moved into the house it wasn’t because we were ready it was because our old roommate decided to move to the opposite side of the country and he owned the house. I didn’t want to own a home so fast either. I didn’t want that responsibility and it felt like things got rushed REALLY fast.

So here I am. 33 and I feel absolutely fantastic. I have been taking my medication daily for the past 3 months and I’m now taking PrEP as well. I haven’t been depressed in four weeks and I’ve lost 25 pounds in two months. Depression doesn’t live here anymore. I do. It’s 185 square feet and I pay $1200 a month for it. Fuck. Really? Rent control is horrible in Seattle. We have such a horrible homeless crisis here and I have to be very budget focused now. I’m very in control now.

Overall life is a total TEN right now. Absolutely zero complaints. I am in charge of my life. I call ALL the shots. ME first.

Depression is that you?


I am a warrior now. It’s showtime!


4 thoughts on “An unexpected break from blogging”

  1. Mark, so glad you are putting yourself first, finally. And especially happy that you are taking care of yourself AND your body. Kudos to you, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

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