Wow! That’s all I can really say about today. Today was my Friday at work and I’m so thankful to have the next four days off work so I can focus on my self-image and focus on my health. I have several doctor appts on Monday with my doctors and psychiatrist whom I really need to see. I need to make sure that I’m following the correct plan. I’ve been on so many different medications during my depression that I can’t even see straight. Or even be straight for that matter. 😉
Regardless, shortly before 2017 ended I remember waking up on a Sunday morning and knowing that something had gone off in my head… Almost like I had a moment of purity and I felt this jolt of energy hit me and it was the Universe telling me that I’m worthy of anything I want in life and that if I want something to chase it because I deserve it. THANK YOU DIVINE INSPIRATION ANGEL! I’ve spent the last four months being an absolute depressed wreck and fast forward today and my depression score today on the Feeling Good David Burns book rated me at 44 which is GREAT because last week in his office I was 55…. 50 and above is extreme depression… Yikes.
Today though was different. I got to therapy on time which is always an added bonus and I quickly completed the checklist because I give my therapist these forms to track “in my file. gasp.” Like I told Chris a few weeks ago, I’m done being the victim of my own self-hate. The demon has died and I’m dragging him out of my soul daily. No longer will I dwell on my own self-misery because I am worthy of love and compassion. Let’s just say I’ve never had a more productive therapy session in the six years that I’ve been seeing Chris. I walked out tonight so proud of myself… The feeling of accomplishment was ravenous through my blood. I felt so good and my depression had no voice.
My therapist is so proud of me for my blog. I showed him today on my iPad and she was stunned at my accomplishment. I couldn’t believe how much I was being praised over this. Someone, please pinch me! I’m certainly dreaming!
I scored a 44 today. That’s a HUGE WIN! 11 points better than last week which means I’m a happier campier living with a “mild depression” and you know what.. I’ll take it. This feels good. Like I said something just clicked and my perception shifted ever so slightly.
4 Days off! Netflix and Chill………And Blog! #BlogADay