ADHD, Automatic Thoughts, Depression

Winter is coming…

Today was an alright day for the Northwest.  The sun was out, and happiness was flowing through my blood.  I must say that these new meds my doctor has me on has me really energized, focused on my work, and is keeping the depression at bay.  I often ask myself.. Why did I wait so long for this?  Well it’s a process of elimination with anti-depressants and that’s been my life for the longest time.

I started seeing my therapist in 2013 and I then was referred to my psychiatrist later that year and while I was new to the bi-polar diagnosis I didn’t realize how many medications I would have to take in order to achieve results.  Right now I take 200mg of Zoloft, Ambien, and Adderall XR for my ADHD.  Overall I think it was the Zoloft increase and the added Adderall that gave me the much needed boost.  I also sit in front of the happy light every morning at work for a good two hours or so.  If the doctor ordered it then it’s in my best interest to follow their instructions!  I really don’t want to be depressed ALL winter long.  I know that depression will hit however I am determined to make this winter the BEST EVER!  Hey Depression, if you’re listening.. Go fuck yourself.  I’m better than YOU think I am.

I’ve realized today that I completely have forgotten how many days I’ve been sober.. Was it 3 months, or 4 months?  I can’t even remember and personally that is FANTASTIC news!  Whatever the number of days are my mind has never felt clearer and I am able to think fast on my feet.  I should be celebrating my sobriety and although I am the inner demons continue to tell me what a loser I am and that I should drink my life away.. DEMONS be gone!  YOU SHALL NOT WIN THIS BATTLE!

Overall, I’m 10 times better this week then I was last week.  Every new day is a new adventure for me and I’m really loving this ride that I’m on.

It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realized my full potential.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Sleep well readers, I know I am! 🙂




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